Thursday, March 31, 2011

Light at the End of the Tunnel

I met with my academic adviser today and officially found out that I’m going to graduate this December!!!! You couldn’t erase the smile from my face if you tried! I’m SO happy and relieved that only a few more months of school and I’ll be done. FOR-E-VER!!! I am so proud of myself, but December can’t get here fast enough. I hate school. But I’m proud I’ve done this….having my master’s is something I’ve always thought about and I’m glad I bit the bullet and will have accomplished something I really never thought I’d be able to do.

So, needless to say….I’m a very happy girl right now!!!! Plus, only one more day until the weekend!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Baby #2

Well, today would have been my due date for baby #2. It's so hard to imagine that I'd be done with another pregnancy by now. We had so much hope for that baby because we actually got to see it's little heart beating before things went wrong.

As sad as all this is.... I'm a happy mama because I know I have 3 sweet angels in heaven. Even when things don't go my way and I'm sad or heartbroken I know God is taking care of me and for that, I am so very happy, thankful and blessed.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Positive News

So my appointment yesterday went a lot better than I expected. We really didn't come away with any answers so I was a little bummed about that...but what was I thinking? I was hoping for this to be easy and it's going to be anything but easy. The good news is that there doesn't appear to be any major problems with the baby, which is very good news for us. Not all the results are back so we still don't know everything.

I gave blood...lots of blood. 10 vials to be exact. The lady kept pulling out more and more vials and I kept wondering if they were all for me, sure enough they were. I survived it and I didn't faint when I was done.

Next step is to get all the results from my blood work back, hopefully we'll get some answers from that, then on to the specialist in Dallas on April 11th.

I prayed for strength to get through the appointment yesterday and God gave it to me. Of course I cried a little, but I was able to ask questions and carry on a conversation....I was really proud of myself. No matter what's happening...I feel SO blessed. I have the most wonderful husband in the whole world, a wonderful and supportive family and the best friends ever! It's hard to feel sad all the time when I'm surrounded by so many blessings every day!

Sunday, March 20, 2011


The word dread isn't a happy word...but it's how I feel about this week. Here's why:
1. Spring break is over...I'm dreading going back to work.
2. Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment with my doctor. I'm dreading what we might find out.
3. This week would have been my due date with our second baby. March 23rd was the actual day. I can't help but to think about the second baby and feel so sad and heartbroken.

It's times like this I wish I could change things...but I can't. I just have to keep faith that God is taking care of us and that no matter what happens...everything is going to work out for the best. So with that being said...this week I look forward to: seeing all 17 of my little sweethearts in the morning. I look forward to more beautiful weather. I look forward to only 10 more weeks of school!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Spring Break 2011

So, Spring Break is here and I’m loving it! I kicked off my SB by watching Gage play his first baseball game of the season then went fishing with my wonderful hubby. He did the fishing and I soaked up the sun. Sunday I hit the road for Mississippi to visit my best friend Jessica. I had such a wonderful time catching up with Jess and watching her beautiful daughter Mary Ella entertain us. Jessica’s mom, Linda, was also in town for the weekend so it was nice to catch up with her as well. Linda also watched ME while Jess and I went shopping, got pedicures, grabbed lunch and watched a movie. Tuesday I loaded the car and came back to Texas. I got back in town just in time to watch my cousin Kara play her softball game. Kara is a senior this year so I’m going to try to make it to as many games as possible. Wednesday, I got up and went shopping. I got some things for the house, 2 tank tops, and a new purse. All the accessories for the house were free (gift card), and the purse and shirts were on sale! So, I was pretty proud of myself. Steven didn’t give me a hard time either so that made it even better. Today, I got up and went shopping again. I can’t imagine staying inside when it’s so nice outside. After I got home I washed my car. Now, I’m sitting around and relaxing until the hubby gets home. Tomorrow we’re planning on going fishing again. I look forward to spending time with Steven and being outside. I love this time of the year! I’m just sad how fast SB is going….only 3 more days then it’s back to reality. The good news is that we only have 10 weeks until summer!!!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

2 Days til Spring Break!!!

Only two more days until Spring Break is here!!! I'm so ready for a break. I'm looking forward to going to Mississippi and visiting with my best friend. I'm also looking forward to sleeping late and being lazy....and maybe doing a little shopping if I can get away with it without my hubby finding out!
I'm so excited that my mid-term is over and I made a 93!!! I'm pretty proud of myself considering I really didn't study for the test!
Tomorrow is Open House and then it's downhill from there!!!

Sunday, March 6, 2011


I take my mid-term this Tuesday for one of my classes this semester. Mid-term! Where has all the time gone?? When I was pregnant I was watching the calendar and counting down the days until August 25. Then when we lost the baby and I was off from work it seemed like time flew by and I was left behind. Before I knew it, it was March. I have one more week until Spring Break...then it's down hill from there for the rest of this year.
I'm going to make it a goal of mine to start enjoying each day while it's here. I know there are going to be some bad days, but that's life. I've got to learn to be more thankful for what I have and live in the moment!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Back to work

I went back to work today…and it went really well. When I walked into my classroom I saw that my students had wrote me a note on the board saying welcome back and that they had missed me. My eyes started to fill up with tears but I kept it together. I quickly got busy and that helped me. I could tell my students missed me while I was gone. However, some of them were acting crazy! (Like bouncing off the walls… it was weird!)
I think going back to work was good for me. It keeps my mind busy and that’s a good thing. But, with that being said, it didn’t stop me from thinking if things hadn’t gone bad last week, I’d be 15 weeks pregnant today. It’s weird how even when I’m in the middle of talking and teaching I still will think about the baby. It will be a while before I stop thinking about the baby we just lost. We loved all three babies, but we just really thought since we’d made it so far with this last pregnancy we were going to make it this time. Plus, going through the birth process also created an even deeper bond with this baby.
But, I am determined to be positive and focus on finding answers about what’s going wrong with my body. I go back to my doctor for my follow-up appointment and bloodwork on March 21st. Then we’re going to Dallas to meet the specialist on April 11th. I’m hopeful that we’ll find some answers.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Picking up the pieces….

So, it’s been a couple of days since the baby was born….my body is starting to heal and I’m slowing starting to get back into the swing of life. I went back to grad school last night and did pretty well. I cried just a little at the end when my professor and classmates gave me a card and note. I was pretty worn out but I’m proud I got out. Today I’ve been grading papers…I have so much to do when I get back to school tomorrow. I’m excited to see my babies in the morning. I’ve missed my students. I haven’t seen them since last Tuesday. This is the longest I’ve ever been absent from work. The good thing is that I only have 7 days of work until Spring Break!!!! I’m so excited about that because I’m making plans with my VERY best friend in the whole world (Jessica) to either go to Mississippi or she’s coming to Texas…I can’t wait to spend time with her.
Today my nurse called to tell me we have an appointment in Dallas on April 11th to see a baby specialist. I’m really excited that hopefully in the next month or two we’ll hopefully have some answers to what’s going wrong with my pregnancies.